This is it folks, this is the dystopian future Wall-E warned us about. No longer will the Olympics be concerned with just the greatest of humanity’s physical prowess — their expertise with a flip, a jump, a well aimed javelin. Now we can add the speed of your finger, the quickness of your thumb, as the Olympics add e-sports, aka video games, to the mix! Haha, that’s right mom! I told you me sitting on the couch for hours until I transform into a muscle free skeleton with a gut was good for something! Going for the gold, ma! Going for the gold!
The addition of video games to the Olympics is considered an attempt to court younger citizens, as explained by an Olympic official to NBC — “The youth, yes they are interested in e-sport and this kind of thing. Let’s look at it. Let’s meet them. Let’s try if we can find some bridges.” Of course, meeting in the middle also means not using the kind of video games that generally are used in competitive competitions in an effort to avoid violence or shooting games which like — we appreciate the thought, but come on! I want to win a medal for using my Wario Waft on someone in Super Smash Bros! Come on!
Wario Waft is the fart Wario makes in Super Smash Bros. It’s great.